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Here’s a fun thought experiment: Rewind your life to 10 or 15 years ago. For some women, it is—and good for them! Nonetheless, they are wondering, “Shouldn’t dating be better than this? Dating in your thirties poses different challenges than it did in your twenties. Your career is probably humming along, and so it may be demanding more of your time. You’ve got a solid group of friends, but many of them are coupled off already. The last thing you want to do on a Friday night is spend time starting small talk in a club crowded with sorority sisters who reek of vodka.

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Right now, those ‘Forever Alone’ memes can hit a bit too close to home. Here’s how to take charge of your dating life in your 30s. Sure, lots of people are coupled up in their 30s, so the dating pool is smaller than it was.

Far and away the best thing about being in my thirties is how sure I feel about myself. I also happen to be single, and one of those things I know I want out of life is a partner and a family. Women are complex and we come to different milestones in life from just about every angle imaginable, with different stories, different baggage and different goals.

The more you know yourself, the easier it is to recognize compatibility and potential in another person. You take dating more seriously, which is both good and bad. Guys, do not ask me this on a date. Aunt Janice, please do not ask me next Thanksgiving. Shorter than you? Hates sushi? Take a cue from Frozen and let it go.

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Dating has always been an odd experience. There are rules, but nobody knows them. There are special codes, but nobody has a cipher. Yet, somehow, unless you’re in your 20s, things are weirder than they’ve ever been. I’ve always felt dating was a weird experience in general, but somehow, coming back to it in the last few years feels different.

I was married for several years in my late 20s, so I missed out on the earlier days of online dating sites. It was also a much more carefree time, when if you liked someone, that was enough. But now that I’m in my 30s, the rules and expectations are completely different—making it a lot harder to get back in the game. Right now, you have billions of other human beings at your fingertips through a variety of channels.

As always, you can hit up bars, clubs, and shows.

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Just when I think I might be letting my guard down online to actually bond with him, I find out about her. She might be an ex-girlfriend, an ex-wife, the mother of his dating or the one who got away. She have helped destroy his marriage, or gone out with him on online benders. She could going, slept with his best friend, stolen his money, joined a cult, realized she was online, or stuck around in his life just enough to emotionally manipulate and abuse him.

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30 Truths About Dating in Your Thirties

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Life In Your 20s Vs 30s